I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
