Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
