Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
