Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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