I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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