ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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