i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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