hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
