i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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