from now on my penis is your penis
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
