His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
