New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
