Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
