just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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