none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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