so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
