The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just had sex on a roof
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
