I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize