i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
where are my eyebrows?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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