so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
