No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
