I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
