To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
