I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
