i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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