my mouth tastes like poor choices
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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