let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
