After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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