Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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