Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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