return my video game
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
