you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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