what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
