thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
