I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
