this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner