And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
