ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
