Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize