I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
