hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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