Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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