I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize