After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
