his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
