have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
