I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
