You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
