Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize