i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
