I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
why is half of my head shaved?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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