I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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