I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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