Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
