i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
