i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
